Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Woman charged after alleged fight over half a sandwich - thestar.com
Woman charged after alleged fight over half a sandwich - thestar.com
Your tax dollars at work, people.
Seriously, never date someone who is bi-polar.
Monday, July 26, 2010
A New Course of Action (Jackson)
So it hit me today that I watch a lot of movies. I play a lot of games and sleep and eat a lot too. It would be a fair claim that I'm also not the most productive.
So For the next little while, I will be reviewing movies and posting them here. I don't have the equipment, or anyone to sidekick for me right now so if my written reviews are horribly bland and too offensive you can go check out my buds over at mymhm.tv
Check back soon for the [Movie Title] review!
So For the next little while, I will be reviewing movies and posting them here. I don't have the equipment, or anyone to sidekick for me right now so if my written reviews are horribly bland and too offensive you can go check out my buds over at mymhm.tv
Check back soon for the [Movie Title] review!
Friday, July 23, 2010
"I won't be making it in today..."
If you work, don't ever take a sick day. Ever.
Let's look at this for a second. It's a pretty cool creed I guess. Obviously it means that no matter what, your birthday card from Aunt Betty or your bill from the gas/electric company is going to get to you no matter what.
But since when did this become the Canadian Employment Standard?
Here is my issue; I take sick days. Yes, even sometimes I'm not sick when I take them, but I have them, and I use them. I use more than my company allots me but I do so because if I don't take a day for myself every once in a while I start to explore the depths of my own bitterness and even looking at a co-worker is enough to wish brutal diseases and cancer upon them.
But even if a sick day is needed for actually being sick, co-workers will treat you like a goof for the next few days. Stomach flu gets you one word answers and distasteful stares. Food poisoning gets you a raised eyebrow.
It seems the only way to avoid getting treated like shit is when you walk into work, still wearing your hospital bracelet after pissing blood and exploratory surgery.
If you ever get sick, you should get it all on camera. It seems as though when a co-worker tries to call you out for being "sick" and you have undeniable proof in a visual medium, they get even more pissed off at you for being "for real sick". But the trade off makes it worth it.
"Sick again huh?"
"Yes sir. Brutally so. Feeling a bit better today though."
"Yea, We all figured as much."
"Oh?"
"Yea. What was wrong with you?"
"I ate at a buffet last night and I guess the sushi wasn't as fresh as they said."
"Hmph"
"Here. here's me in the bathroom at home last night. No, go ahead, please look. It'll make paying my roommate $20 to take these photos all the more worth it."
"Ugh, you are a disgusting human being"
"Very true sir, but a liar I am not."
United States Postmans Creed:
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds
Let's look at this for a second. It's a pretty cool creed I guess. Obviously it means that no matter what, your birthday card from Aunt Betty or your bill from the gas/electric company is going to get to you no matter what.
But since when did this become the Canadian Employment Standard?
Here is my issue; I take sick days. Yes, even sometimes I'm not sick when I take them, but I have them, and I use them. I use more than my company allots me but I do so because if I don't take a day for myself every once in a while I start to explore the depths of my own bitterness and even looking at a co-worker is enough to wish brutal diseases and cancer upon them.
But even if a sick day is needed for actually being sick, co-workers will treat you like a goof for the next few days. Stomach flu gets you one word answers and distasteful stares. Food poisoning gets you a raised eyebrow.
It seems the only way to avoid getting treated like shit is when you walk into work, still wearing your hospital bracelet after pissing blood and exploratory surgery.
If you ever get sick, you should get it all on camera. It seems as though when a co-worker tries to call you out for being "sick" and you have undeniable proof in a visual medium, they get even more pissed off at you for being "for real sick". But the trade off makes it worth it.
"Sick again huh?"
"Yes sir. Brutally so. Feeling a bit better today though."
"Yea, We all figured as much."
"Oh?"
"Yea. What was wrong with you?"
"I ate at a buffet last night and I guess the sushi wasn't as fresh as they said."
"Hmph"
"Here. here's me in the bathroom at home last night. No, go ahead, please look. It'll make paying my roommate $20 to take these photos all the more worth it."
"Ugh, you are a disgusting human being"
"Very true sir, but a liar I am not."
Friday, July 9, 2010
I love this place, but...
Recently I decided to try out a new coffee shop that opened up near my apartment. I've always been reluctant to try out new restaurants and eateries since I believe that it takes at least a year before the staff are settled in to how things are done.
But this place was pretty good if I do say so myself. Comfy chairs, and booths. The booths surprised me the most. I don't think I can recall a coffee shop that wasn't a Tim Horton's/Wendy's hybrid that had booths. It's cozy and I like cozy so fuck you. It has tables so you can be as uncomfortable as you want.
However, and here we go, it has new staff. People who may have worked at a Starbucks or Second Cup before buying into this new franchise and thought that with the experience and insight of working a big chain store that they could make this new place really kick ass. And everything is going fine until you throw them a curveball like how you order.
Last night my girlfriend and I decided we would like to try some ice cream. I ordered 2 scoops in one bowl, along with my iced coffee. Being asked how I wanted my coffee for iced coffee was unexpected, and I made comment to it. No big deal. It's just that Timmy's never ask me.
This seemed to offend the man behind the counter, who seemed he had to get out the explanation of how better they are than Timmy's. Ok buddy, you win. I'll have a double/double iced coffee.
My girlfriend and I sit down in a booth, and I set up my computer to watch a movie.
Listen, I live in Toronto, and for the last fucking week I've been near death in a fucking heatwave. I will most certainly hang out in a coffee shop with A/C and watch movies. They are open till 1am between Thursday and Saturday so I will exploit them like child labourers.
Then our order was ready and whats this? One scoop in two bowls.
Wait a sec. Didn't I order 2 scoops in 1 bowl?
I read in my girlfriends eyes the plea to just let it go, so I did.
But what the fuck, right? Did the guy not want to see my girlfriend and I, sitting down beside each other, watching THE ADVENTURES OF BARON FUCKING MUNCHAUSEN and sharing a bowl of ice cream? How desperate was he for having to charge me an extra dollar for the 2 seperate bowls of ice cream? Most importantly, why didn't my order come like how I ordered it? If I ordered my iced coffee with just one cup of ice with another cup of coffee on the side with milk and sugar I would expect just that. Though I wouldn't ever order anything like that cause thats just stupid.
But when trying to have a relaxing time, sharing a bowl of ice cream with my girl, I want to be cute while doing it. And I don't need some asshole barista thinking he knows how I will better enjoy my fucking ice cream.
In other news, they've opened a new Timmy's at the end of my street.
But this place was pretty good if I do say so myself. Comfy chairs, and booths. The booths surprised me the most. I don't think I can recall a coffee shop that wasn't a Tim Horton's/Wendy's hybrid that had booths. It's cozy and I like cozy so fuck you. It has tables so you can be as uncomfortable as you want.
However, and here we go, it has new staff. People who may have worked at a Starbucks or Second Cup before buying into this new franchise and thought that with the experience and insight of working a big chain store that they could make this new place really kick ass. And everything is going fine until you throw them a curveball like how you order.
Last night my girlfriend and I decided we would like to try some ice cream. I ordered 2 scoops in one bowl, along with my iced coffee. Being asked how I wanted my coffee for iced coffee was unexpected, and I made comment to it. No big deal. It's just that Timmy's never ask me.
This seemed to offend the man behind the counter, who seemed he had to get out the explanation of how better they are than Timmy's. Ok buddy, you win. I'll have a double/double iced coffee.
My girlfriend and I sit down in a booth, and I set up my computer to watch a movie.
Listen, I live in Toronto, and for the last fucking week I've been near death in a fucking heatwave. I will most certainly hang out in a coffee shop with A/C and watch movies. They are open till 1am between Thursday and Saturday so I will exploit them like child labourers.
Then our order was ready and whats this? One scoop in two bowls.
Wait a sec. Didn't I order 2 scoops in 1 bowl?
I read in my girlfriends eyes the plea to just let it go, so I did.
But what the fuck, right? Did the guy not want to see my girlfriend and I, sitting down beside each other, watching THE ADVENTURES OF BARON FUCKING MUNCHAUSEN and sharing a bowl of ice cream? How desperate was he for having to charge me an extra dollar for the 2 seperate bowls of ice cream? Most importantly, why didn't my order come like how I ordered it? If I ordered my iced coffee with just one cup of ice with another cup of coffee on the side with milk and sugar I would expect just that. Though I wouldn't ever order anything like that cause thats just stupid.
But when trying to have a relaxing time, sharing a bowl of ice cream with my girl, I want to be cute while doing it. And I don't need some asshole barista thinking he knows how I will better enjoy my fucking ice cream.
In other news, they've opened a new Timmy's at the end of my street.
Monday, July 5, 2010
BOYCOTT THIS FUCKING PLACE
I've been to BP maybe 4 times this year. I have yet to come away from it with any kind of feeling of satisfaction. The most recent vist, for UFC 116 has been the worst so far.
My girlfriend and I went to meet some friends at the Boston Pizza in Mississauga. My friend Rini and her friend arrived before we did, and were into their second round when we showed up. Upon doing so, the server, Jackie, comes to the table to let us all know how stupid she is.
Seriously.
"I'm so dumb today" she says. This is the woman who will is responsible for bring out food that I will be eating. Was this supposed to be an ice breaker? If I told everyone who walked into my place of business that I was a goddamn fool, I wouldn't make any money. No one wants to deal with an idiot. I ask for another waitress immediately but I guess she thought I was joking.
And then, as if exclaiming that she was a dunce wasn't enough, she proceeds to spill an appletini on Rini's cell phone. Way to go Jackie! You have removed all doubt of your mental competence! I mean, telling me that you were dumb just wasn't enough, that you had to go out of your way to show me.
I said "That's a free drink..." and she retorts very rudely 'Obviously!!!!!11". Oh, and this is after rolling her eyes and the unenthused attitude towards a couple of people that just wanted plain old fucking orange juice. Seriously, does it really grind your gears to know that there is no vodka in my drink, you twat?
More friends show up and I tell them the deal with the waitress. It's good to see Boston Pizza has no problem letting the dregs of the gene pool handle food and beverage. I tell everyone not to tip. Fuck her. She was rude, incompetent and as she said herself, stupid.
My friends try to order a pitcher of a beer that they didn't have on tap. No big deal, really. I make a comment to my friend that this place is just a never ending pit of disappointment, as every time I've been to a BP it's pretty much sucked. She over hears this and tries calling me out, telling me what everyone already knows; I an unimpressed. And that she can hear me. And proceeds to give me some sob story about calling the cops on a drunk driver. I laughed. She says she's worried cause what if the cops don't catch him and he kills someone? I say that if he kills someone, he'll most likely die as well, and basically, if she wanted sympathy, she was at the wrong table.
Can't order anything from her after that. I was certain that anything else would contain her saliva or fecal matter.
And in the 3 hours I sat there, she only filled up my water twice.
In the end, I have decided that I will no longer give BP my business. If I have to go to watch UFC, I will bring my own water and eat something on the way.
Fuck you, Jackie, and fuck the dick that is called Boston Pizza that you are sucking on [most likely for the meth that made you so stupid to begin with.]
In which our hero lets you in on a little secret...
First off, I would like to acknowledge that no one reads this. I don't update enough, and I don't 'market' myself enough, and I kinda don't care enough either. I would like to update more, but on not being able to think of a decent name for the blog and the correlation to the content, there is a good chance I'll be labelled an actual paranoid schizophrenic, as everyone has a professional medical opinion about people on the internet. And I simply cannot have that.
But as for my little secret. It's not so little.
Sorry everyone, but religion is fake. There is no God, there is no sentience to the universe, there is no Messiah, and there are certainly no Angels. There is no Heaven, and no Hell, and the closest thing that comes to Purgatory is going to work in an office all day.
Most of us believed in Santa Claus at one point. A happy fat german man who gave gifts to millions of kids worldwide and ate a metric fuck ton of cookies in one night. Wasn't there an X-Files episode about a guy who only had to feed periodically, and would hibernate for years before doing it again? Was Santa some mutate Kraut with a factory full of slave labour midgets?
More importantly, how old were we before we saw through all the bullshit? 5? 7?
Yet to this day, billions of people believe in something far more crazy and out there. God. Jesus. An old man in the sky, who created the cosmos from nothing but thought and will, and cares what each and every one of the 7 billion on the planet think of him.
Seriously, he is supposed to care. Dude, if you made the universe, you are already King Shit. What sort of validation do you need from us 'lesser' beings?
It's not real, folks. It's all lies. It's a bedtime story. It's make belief. It's fake and people are dying over it. It's a sick waste of life.
"My Sky Wizard has a different name than yours!"
"Mine's still cool, asshole!"
Stab.
Now you have one dead guy who just wanted to be a farmer and have a kid and maybe a mistress on the side and one guy who is haunted by the face the dead guy made, and drinks heavily and beats his frustration out on his prostitutes before taking his money back and feeling something again.
And you know what I love? The word 'Faith'. It's a great word that I think is used in the wrong context every time this topic comes up in discussion.
'Faith' is what I get in humanity when I see something like some little kid holding the door for an elderly person he doesn't know, or seeing someone buying a homeless person a muffin, or all those little moments in the day where you see it and think 'Ok, maybe we aren't totally fucked'. It's a tangible thing. We can see it for the good that it is. It's not blind allegiance to a book or a God. That's just gullibility.
But as for my little secret. It's not so little.
Most of us believed in Santa Claus at one point. A happy fat german man who gave gifts to millions of kids worldwide and ate a metric fuck ton of cookies in one night. Wasn't there an X-Files episode about a guy who only had to feed periodically, and would hibernate for years before doing it again? Was Santa some mutate Kraut with a factory full of slave labour midgets?
More importantly, how old were we before we saw through all the bullshit? 5? 7?
Yet to this day, billions of people believe in something far more crazy and out there. God. Jesus. An old man in the sky, who created the cosmos from nothing but thought and will, and cares what each and every one of the 7 billion on the planet think of him.
Seriously, he is supposed to care. Dude, if you made the universe, you are already King Shit. What sort of validation do you need from us 'lesser' beings?
It's not real, folks. It's all lies. It's a bedtime story. It's make belief. It's fake and people are dying over it. It's a sick waste of life.
"My Sky Wizard has a different name than yours!"
"Mine's still cool, asshole!"
Stab.
Now you have one dead guy who just wanted to be a farmer and have a kid and maybe a mistress on the side and one guy who is haunted by the face the dead guy made, and drinks heavily and beats his frustration out on his prostitutes before taking his money back and feeling something again.
And you know what I love? The word 'Faith'. It's a great word that I think is used in the wrong context every time this topic comes up in discussion.
'Faith' is what I get in humanity when I see something like some little kid holding the door for an elderly person he doesn't know, or seeing someone buying a homeless person a muffin, or all those little moments in the day where you see it and think 'Ok, maybe we aren't totally fucked'. It's a tangible thing. We can see it for the good that it is. It's not blind allegiance to a book or a God. That's just gullibility.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)